Lately, things just get even more tougher than before.
Work, life, everything seems to be outta hand and I feel like I am gonna break at any moment. I don't think I can keep up with this life anymore. 

People always said how lucky I am with this job, how lucky I am for being able to be where I am now and yes, I do admit that I was lucky for getting this job so easily. It was definitely my luck. But I don't feel happy with my work anymore, I get scold for almost everyday in a week, people treat me like I am some stupid girl who don't know what to do. 

Well, honestly, yeah, sometimes I don't know what to do. This is all so new and I admit that sometimes, it was my faults but not everything is my faults. I did tried my best every single day, I tried to improve, I tried to be efficient, I tried to do things better, I tried to have this 'sense of urgency' they keep talking about. How I suppose to be alert for all that, I did tried. I do but it all seems worthless because no matter how much I tried, people just didn't see it. And it was okay when other people have faults - I don't see people dragging them down like what I had to face, like if they really that good with their job, way better than mine, there shouldn't be any problems right? Since they all know what to do and I don't, they shouldn't be repeating the same mistakes, they should know what to expect and what to do if things get outta hand. Hmm.

So, this is me, feel sad for myself because I really hope that I can get a job which I am good at so that people wouldn't feel burden with my stupidity....

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